The New Recruits, or Akatsuki the Musical
by Miss Nom de Plume
Summary: Warning: YAOI, OCs, SELF-INSERTS! The Akatsuki gets two new members, and these girls might be more trouble than they're worth! Dive into the drama, romance, comedy, and all other antics of the Akatsuki plus two in Akatsuki the Musical !
1. Behind the Crimson Door

**A/N: A requested Fanfiction by one of my dearest friends that I actually took a liking to and decided to keep on continuing.**

**WARNING: Contains/Will Contain: Yaoi, OCs (myself and a few of my friends as ninja, so, yes, the kind of OCs that everyone hates), and said OCs being paired together with canon characters. **

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own Naruto. If I did, it would be a LOT different. Trust me.**

* * *

Itachi sighed.

"New members? I'm sure they'll be wonderfully pathetic…"

"Oh, come on, Itachi-san, you're always so pessimistic! They might not be so bad, un."

Suddenly, there was a girl standing behind Itachi.

"Well, I'm good enough to listen in on your conversation without either of you noticing, aren't I?"

She was grinning, and her blue eyes shimmered in the dim light. She had black hair down to her waist, held out of her eyes by a (lime green) Moon Village headband, a crack splitting the Village Emblem in two. She had on a simple, short black dress with detached sleeves, fashioned from rainbow fishnet, and black fishnet stockings, complete with big black stompy boots that went up to her knees and laced up in the front with rainbow laces.

"I seriously can't believe you both fell for that!" her voice was sparkling with laughter. "I mean, _you're _supposed to be the famous _Itachi Uchiha!_" she exclaimed, jumping down from the ledge she was standing on so she was next to him.

'The famous Itachi Uchiha' simply rolled his eyes, and the girl kept on talking.

"Anyways, my name's Sarah, and you'll meet Kat later on—she's the other new recruit and we're both from the Moon Village!"

"Whatever," Itachi said, brushing off the information that he found utterly unimportant. "So how do you fight, then?" That question was mainly just a formality. It's not like he actually _cared. _

But she wasted no time in answering. "I'm an artist!" she said proudly, still beaming.

Deidara glanced up at that.

"I use special inks to draw with, and I can summon the things I draw and command them—I like dragons and birds, mostly, they're fun to fly on."

Itachi just sighed again. "Great. We get another annoying, stuck-up 'artist' in the Akatsuki. Absolutely fabulous. And as if that wasn't bad enough…I've been given the orders to accompany you on your first mission. After that, I'll see to it that you're paired with Deidara or something. You'd like him."

"No, un," Deidara said bluntly. "I'm not being paired with anyone but Sasori-no-Danna, un," he insisted, crossing his arms defensively in front of his chest.

Itachi rolled his eyes.

"What are you, in love with him or something?"

Deidara shot Itachi a glare, then changed the subject.

"Anyways, um…Sarah, you still haven't been shown your room yet, right?"

But before she had the chance to answer, another girl jumped up behind Itachi, grinning ear-to-ear.

"Hi!" she almost squealed, and Itachi jumped, turning around to face her. She had on black shorts with fishnets underneath and a black tank-top with a long-sleeved fishnet shirt underneath. The top zipped up in the front and laced up on the sides. The girl's hair was long in front, deep purple and streaked with black, but cut shorter and spiked in the back, vaguely resembling a certain other Uchiha.

Itachi wrinkled his nose, "Let me guess…Kat?"

Kat nodded, still grinning.

Then she paused, looking at Itachi rather thoughtfully for a moment.

"…You're _really _cute," she was grinning again. Itachi, on the other hand, looked mortally offended, as though he'd just been brutally insulted, rather than complimented. Deidara grinned, and Sarah suppressed a giggle.

"Right, then…" Itachi tried to shake off the comment, "Anyways, you two will be sharing a room for the time being. It's on the top level, at the end of the first hallway."

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**A/N: So how did everyone like it? This short little part isn't much, since it's mainly introductions and descriptions of me and Kat's (totally fierce) ninja outfits, and I have about 15 pages already written on notebook paper that I just need to transfer to the computer, so expect much more very soon--probably later today, most of it! Rate and Review, PLEASE! I even appreciate FLAMERS for just taking the time to write something to me about my Fanfiction!  
**


	2. Fake It

**A/N: Here's part two! Itty-bitty chapters, sorry, but that's just how the story happened to break up, and they'll be VERY uneven in length, since I'm just breaking them apart as I transfer them from notebook paper stapled together to the computer, ending a chapter where I think it sounds like it should end.**

**WARNING: Contains/Will Contain: Yaoi, OCs (myself and a few of my friends as ninja, so, yes, the kind of OCs that everyone hates), and said OCs being paired together with canon characters. **

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own Naruto. If I did, it would be a LOT different. Trust me.**

* * *

Both girls nodded and started off towards their rooms. Although neither of them said anything, they'd mutually decided to go meet everyone else and explore the whole lair as soon as they unpacked their stuff.

After dropping off their bags in their rooms, they shot out the door and down the hallway, and Sarah ran straight into another Akatsuki member, one with violet eyes and snow-white hair.

He shoved her off immediately, glaring daggers.

"'The fuck do you think you're doing!?"

She ignored the question, seeing the rosary around his neck.

"You're a Jashinist?" she asked, blinking sapphire eyes.

He blinked, rage dissolving somewhat. "Umm…yeah. You recognize the symbol?"

She nodded in response.

"One of my friends in the Moon Village was a Jashinist. I'm not, but I always thought it was a pretty cool belief system, and the whole immortality deal can't be too bad."

The man grinned.

"I'm Hidan. Welcome to Akatsuki," he said, then continuing down the hallway.

A few seconds passed, then Kat dissolved into giggles. She couldn't help it.

Sarah shot her a look. "_What?_"

Kat pulled herself together and straightened up. "Sorry, sorry. That was just…_funny!_ And you do **not **know anyone who's a Jashinist! There _aren't any _in the Moon Village!"

Sarah smirked. "Yeah, I know.

* * *

**A/N: Don'tcha just LURVE how much more I favor myself in this fanfiction than my friend even though it was here whole idea? Yeah, self-inserts are loads o' fun. Even though, like, everybody hates them. I don't care, I'm having fun writing this! R&R please!**


	3. Sugarcoat

**A/N: More itty-bitty chapters, and this one's mostly dialogue, too. So boo. But whatever, more action is coming soon, and I have a rather hilarious (if I do say so myself) and VERY crack-filled side-story involving another of my friends, taking the alias of "Hachiko" that I plan to post here soon for all of you, written by his request. I owe him the majority of the storyline. **

**WARNING: Contains/Will Contain: Yaoi, OCs (myself and a few of my friends as ninja, so, yes, the kind of OCs that everyone hates), and said OCs being paired together with canon characters. **

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own Naruto. If I did, it would be a LOT different. Trust me.**

* * *

Later that night, both girls were sitting in their room. Sarah was lying on her bed, face-up, and Kat was perched on hers, sitting Indian-style. They'd both by now met everyone else in the Akatsuki, and picked out their favorites. They agreed on most of them. Both thought Itachi was awesome, Sasori was cool, Hidan was just bad-ass, and that Deidara was _absolutely fabulous. _Oh, and Kat liked Tobi.

They were talking and giggling and having a sort of two-man (err..girl) slumber party.

"Okay, so what do we think about everyone?" Kat asked, grinning. "Itachi?" she prompted, when Sarah didn't answer immediately.

"We think that…" She paused for a moment, thinking. "We think that Itachi is like the uber-sexy vampire in the romance novel who's always gorgeous and perfect and everything. Except Itachi actually exists."

"Mmhm!" Kat chirped in her agreement, "What about Sasori?"

"We think that Sasori's, like…a total art snob, but still really cute and actually really creative."

"Oh, totally."

"And what about Tobi?" Sarah asked.

"We think he's AWESOME!" Kat exclaimed, beaming.

Sarah just gave Kat her best 'you're an _idiot_' look, rolling her eyes. "_I _think he's_ annoying._"

"Fine, _be that way!_" Kat glared back at her, then moved on. "Anyways, what about Dei-chan?"

"He's totally fabulous, and fierce, and artistic, and awesome, and wonderful, and amazing, and…did I say fabulous? and..—"

"Kay, you like him. We get the picture. What about Hidan?"

"He's cool," Sarah replied with a shrug.

"Yeah, and what about the Leader, Pein?"

"I think he's kinda…not scary, but just kinda…" she trailed off, shuddering.

Kat nodded with a grimace. "I _do _love his piercings, though."

There was a silence, which Sarah broke by commented on Konan's awesomeness, and then going on to say, "Isn't it awesome how there are already so many artists in Akatsuki?"

"For _you. _Nobody here uses genjutsu like mine."

"Itachi does. He has the Sharingan and everything…" she paused. "Because he's an Uchiha," she added, pretty unnecessarily.

"Well, yeah…But it's not the same."

"Obviously. It's a bloodline trait. It wouldn't be _exactly _the same unless you two were related."

Another long pause.

Kat sighed.

"I'm _bored._"

Sarah opened her mouth to respond when something flew in through their open window, spearing itself into the wall less than an inch away from Sarah's head. It was a kunai, with a note attached. She blinked, lazily sitting up and pulling the kunai out of her wall. She untied the note and opened it up:

**Mission**** tomorrow morning. Early.**

She rolled her eyes. "Great…just great. And they don't even give me a real _time_. Just _great._"

Kat raised an eyebrow, looking at her from across the room. "What is it…?"

"Mission. Tomorrow morning. Early, apparently," she replied, wrinkling her nose.

* * *

******A/N: Not much to say about this one, except Kat's genjutsu IS another eye jutsu, and also a bloodline trait. But it's NOT a rip-off of the Sharingan...entirely. Anyways, her bloodline trait was pretty much entirely made up by her, but whenever she gets around to using it in the story, I might take some liberties with the exact details of the effects for the sake of the plot. Because I can. Anyhoo, R&R please!**


	4. Crazy Equals Cute or Hachiko's Sidestory

**A/N: Sidestory, requested and dictated by one of my friends who goes by the alias of Hachiko. He's awesome. **

**WARNING: Crackfic, self-inserts and OCs. Randomness.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. Trust me.**

* * *

It was an ordinary, and really rather boring day in the Akatsuki lair/palace/hideout/private roller-skating rink. Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, Tobi, and of course the new members, Sarah and Kat, were gathered in the main room, when, suddenly, there was a knock at the door!

"..I'll get it," Itachi sighed, pulling himself up to his feet and starting towards the door. But before he got there, the door practically exploding, bursting open in a shower of rocks and rubble.

"Behold!" came a voice from behind the unsettled cloud of dust. "The great Hachiko, Master of Flaming Sporks, has arrived!"

And out jumped a boy, who couldn't have been older than thirteen, clad in black and silver, with many silver pendants hanging from his neck, and a Village Headband emblazoned with the emblem of a spork around his forehead, pushing back flaming red, shoulder-length hair.

Kat blinked.

"What. the. fuck?"

The boy who was apparently Hachiko then burst into violent fits of laughter.

"Why, you haven't heard of me? The Great Hachiko of Flaming Sporks? Master of all repulsive cafeteria food and muffins that taste of cardboard?"

"Uh…no."

He grinned. "Then allow me to introduce myself! I'm Hachiko, the Great Master of—"

"We KNOW," Sarah interjected, rolling her eyes.

Hachiko looked taken aback.

"Well, I never! In fact, I—" he broke off, looking above his head.

"Hey, look, a spider!"

And, lo and behold, there it was, an itsy-bitsy little black spider.

"Hey, look, a kid!" the tiny spider exclaimed in a tiny voice as it dropped down on a thread of silk to investigate farther.

But the poor spider fell, and landed on Hachiko's head. Hachiko then tried to swat the little spider off of him, but to no avail.

The little spider, quaking with fear as Hachiko swung up his foot to kick the spider off of him, mustered all of his strength to latch onto Hachiko's gold-plated boot and flipped him over.

_Crack!_

Hachiko's neck snapped in two as he crashed onto the hard stone floor.

"Alas…He has killed me," Hachiko gasped with a dying breath.

A few moments passed in silence.

"Sooo…I'll go dispose of the body? Since I'm already standing up, and everything…" Itachi offered.

"Sure, I wasn't gonna do it," Kat said with a shrug.

_**The End**_

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**A/N: Not much more to say about this one. Rate and review please! Oh, and a note, all the chapter titles are song names, so I'll give credit here for past chapter titles: Ch.1--Behind the Crimson Door-HIM, Ch.2--Fake It-Seether, Ch.3--Sugarcoat-Breaking Benjamin, and this sidestory is Crazy Equals Cute-Zolof the Rock and Roll Destroyer**


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